Adventures in Parenting: Beans, Tears, & Quasi-adults

After 2 years of friendship, Sister Wife & her hubby (self-dubbed Big Cat) have decided that they can leave me alone with the Fantastic Four. It's been a long time coming. 

While I've always been allowed to enjoy the dinner entertainment of Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Woman, it was less than a year ago that I was first allowed to spend time with the monstrous Thing - in our less than a year together, she and I have become fast friends. We play the little piggy game at least 17 times whenever we're together. 

Miracle of all miracles, the Human Torch has never known a life without me. I held him days after his birth & I hold him now as he flirts his way into my heart and then promptly bursts into flames. We have a different kind of bond that I'm sure will one day include the little piggy game at least 17 times whenever we're together.

So right. Sister Wife & BC left me alone with the Fantastic Four - twice!! Truth of all truths, I loved every crazy minute of it & would hangout with them alone again and again without a second thought b/c at the end of the night, I get to return them. Here is a short list of the things I've experienced in my recent dabbling in parenting:

1. Older siblings are mostly helpful. The great thing about older siblings is that they can help out. The silly thing is that they expect food in return. Despite the fact that 8 of 10 meals I eat are cereal, I do know how to cook. Who am I to deny growing children dinner?!
2. Toddlers know exactly what they want. This is a transcript of our conversation about dinner: "Would you like cereal? No Daddy cereal. Beans. Oatmeal? No updown. Beans. Cheese? No cheese. (cue tears) Beans. Okay, I'll make beans." 20 minutes later "Here are your beans. No beans, no beans! Peas may have cereal, peas?"
3. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. Yes, sweet baby, it's your party, so let it all out. I have changed you. I have tried to feed you and failed. I have tried to let you sleep and failed. I have carried you around and swayed until I forgot that I was swaying and that works about less than half the time, so I'll just do that until your eyelids are too heavy to hold up.
4. If you give a toddler a bubble bath, she will need to put on a fresh set of clothing. And to con her into applying these clothes, you might make promises that include shoes. And if you give her shoes, she will need to go outside. And if she goes outside she will negate the bath and fresh clothing in which you have just put her.
5. Flattery will get you everywhere if you're hoping to go down to the basement. Older brothers (well one in particular) are really good at thanking you for the dinner you provide/supervise and at checking to see if there's anything else they can do to help their "favorite babysitter ever - and if I don't need them for anything would it be possible for us to go to the basement to watch a tv show while we eat dinner?"