Past thoughts + Present actions = Future?

Have I been busy? Sure. We'll go with that one.

Today is the first day in my 3rd attempt to do some soul-searching to end up in grad school or point myself in a new direction. In fairness it might be the 4th or 5th, but let's say attempts made in the same application cycle don't count...so 3rd.

I have been in Panera for an hour. Half of that hour I had the privilege of observing a flood of local high school girls talking about college applications and gossiping about the recent accident/arrest of a "friend." This last part is absolutely foreign to me. The high school version of me has been on my mind for the past week and has caused me to pause a few times.

1. For starters, I didn't travel in a flood. I had a handful of close friends that I mostly spent time with at school. 
2. People called me Sweetie, and not like your waitress at Waffle House calls you Sweetie, just like it was my given name. I think this is the reason I've been dwelling on my past recently - see I ran into my "almost-mother-in-law" last weekend and she refers to me as Sweetie exclusively, 10 years later. It was so wonderful to spend some time with her - she is one of the greatest people I know.
3. I knew where I was going. Not really (and this is where I realize that current self deserves some slack...b/c the time when I had a well-developed plan is a figment of my imagination). I decided where I was going to college days before the deadline to get your deposit back. I decided on my major halfway through my second year at college. The phrase "I'm still deciding," has never been so familiar to a person as it was to me.

Thinking back about past me has been a treat. There are frequently times when I tell myself that I've changed so much from the person I was in high school and yes, but no. It's probably good that I am known to others by my given name rather than Sweetie, but I still don't travel in a flood & I still only pretend to know where I'm going...and that's really okay for a little bit, but one day you realize that if you don't decide soon, you'll be stuck listening to high school girls talk about applying to colleges while the internet fails b/c of the high volume of iPhones surrounding you for the rest of your life.

3rd time's the charm, right?

Adventures in Parenting: Beans, Tears, & Quasi-adults

After 2 years of friendship, Sister Wife & her hubby (self-dubbed Big Cat) have decided that they can leave me alone with the Fantastic Four. It's been a long time coming. 

While I've always been allowed to enjoy the dinner entertainment of Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Woman, it was less than a year ago that I was first allowed to spend time with the monstrous Thing - in our less than a year together, she and I have become fast friends. We play the little piggy game at least 17 times whenever we're together. 

Miracle of all miracles, the Human Torch has never known a life without me. I held him days after his birth & I hold him now as he flirts his way into my heart and then promptly bursts into flames. We have a different kind of bond that I'm sure will one day include the little piggy game at least 17 times whenever we're together.

So right. Sister Wife & BC left me alone with the Fantastic Four - twice!! Truth of all truths, I loved every crazy minute of it & would hangout with them alone again and again without a second thought b/c at the end of the night, I get to return them. Here is a short list of the things I've experienced in my recent dabbling in parenting:

1. Older siblings are mostly helpful. The great thing about older siblings is that they can help out. The silly thing is that they expect food in return. Despite the fact that 8 of 10 meals I eat are cereal, I do know how to cook. Who am I to deny growing children dinner?!
2. Toddlers know exactly what they want. This is a transcript of our conversation about dinner: "Would you like cereal? No Daddy cereal. Beans. Oatmeal? No updown. Beans. Cheese? No cheese. (cue tears) Beans. Okay, I'll make beans." 20 minutes later "Here are your beans. No beans, no beans! Peas may have cereal, peas?"
3. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. Yes, sweet baby, it's your party, so let it all out. I have changed you. I have tried to feed you and failed. I have tried to let you sleep and failed. I have carried you around and swayed until I forgot that I was swaying and that works about less than half the time, so I'll just do that until your eyelids are too heavy to hold up.
4. If you give a toddler a bubble bath, she will need to put on a fresh set of clothing. And to con her into applying these clothes, you might make promises that include shoes. And if you give her shoes, she will need to go outside. And if she goes outside she will negate the bath and fresh clothing in which you have just put her.
5. Flattery will get you everywhere if you're hoping to go down to the basement. Older brothers (well one in particular) are really good at thanking you for the dinner you provide/supervise and at checking to see if there's anything else they can do to help their "favorite babysitter ever - and if I don't need them for anything would it be possible for us to go to the basement to watch a tv show while we eat dinner?"